A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
Nikka - age 6
(We need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, and then he wears it every day."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody.
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (What an image)
Karen - age 7
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry"
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Trudy Responds
Getting back in touch with you brought back vivid memories of our Negril after sunsplash explosion.... yes explosion. I wanted to keep in touch, was
quite amazed over your level of growth and maturity after high school. There was a charm and provocative aura about you that stayed with me for a long time. I was curious to get to know more about you. At one stage I thought you were good husband material and entertained the idea that I could marry you. You were able to really get me out of my comfort zone, and i really applaud a man who can achieve that ( i can be a tough cookie to break ) Its great to be able to share after over 25 or more years. By the way, do you recall the difficulty that was faced as a result of the salty negril sea water ? You were one persistent man.........
quite amazed over your level of growth and maturity after high school. There was a charm and provocative aura about you that stayed with me for a long time. I was curious to get to know more about you. At one stage I thought you were good husband material and entertained the idea that I could marry you. You were able to really get me out of my comfort zone, and i really applaud a man who can achieve that ( i can be a tough cookie to break ) Its great to be able to share after over 25 or more years. By the way, do you recall the difficulty that was faced as a result of the salty negril sea water ? You were one persistent man.........
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Sex according to Pastor Khathide (Ugandan)
A lot of people don't associate sex with God - they associate it with Satan and darkness, as if sex weren't holy... The bible is explicit when it comes to sex. Sex is holy within marriage, and there is no prescribed style.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the missionary position is the only sexual style. Not discussing sex in a relationship leads to divorce!!!!!.
Pastor Khathide has counseled women who've complained: my husband treats me as if I were his brother. There was one who told him: I am tired of getting sex fortnightly, like a salary. Khathide told her she was lucky to be
getting sex fortnightly, since some wives only get it on big days, like elections.
Many husbands leave their wives to seek sexual pleasures in Hillbrow.
Have you ever asked yourself what those wives have that you don't. Wives have become very frigid and even sleep with their panties. If you're a married woman, you should sleep naked and let your bum touch your husband. Today you find men going out of their way to get a glimpse of a vagina. They page through magazines and even go to lingerie departments in stores hoping to see what's hidden under panties, because their wives hide
it from them.
Marriage is about being free with your body in front of your partner. A woman should parade naked and do some modeling to tempt her husband. There are many married women who don't know what their husbands' penises look like. They only feel it when he enters her. They've never touched it, let alone see n it, because the husband switches off the lights before undressing. A penis is a wife's toy - she is supposed to play with it.
He blames couples for not making time for sex and complaining about
being tired after a day's work. You find many couples who've been sexually starved for years. God created sex for procreation and also for pleasure.
You can't marry and not have a good time in bed.
WHO SAID YOU CAN ONLY HAVE SEX AT NIGHT?
Why can't you drive home during lunch and have a quickie with your wife?
We're all equal in sex - it's not just about a woman satisfying a man. You have to satisfy each other. Have you ever seen a woman who has been satisfied? Have u noticed how she glows and becomes energetic? May the Lord Bless you. This is the 'Whole Truth, Nothing But The Truth' so God ! Help Us From The Beginning.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the missionary position is the only sexual style. Not discussing sex in a relationship leads to divorce!!!!!.
Pastor Khathide has counseled women who've complained: my husband treats me as if I were his brother. There was one who told him: I am tired of getting sex fortnightly, like a salary. Khathide told her she was lucky to be
getting sex fortnightly, since some wives only get it on big days, like elections.
Many husbands leave their wives to seek sexual pleasures in Hillbrow.
Have you ever asked yourself what those wives have that you don't. Wives have become very frigid and even sleep with their panties. If you're a married woman, you should sleep naked and let your bum touch your husband. Today you find men going out of their way to get a glimpse of a vagina. They page through magazines and even go to lingerie departments in stores hoping to see what's hidden under panties, because their wives hide
it from them.
Marriage is about being free with your body in front of your partner. A woman should parade naked and do some modeling to tempt her husband. There are many married women who don't know what their husbands' penises look like. They only feel it when he enters her. They've never touched it, let alone see n it, because the husband switches off the lights before undressing. A penis is a wife's toy - she is supposed to play with it.
He blames couples for not making time for sex and complaining about
being tired after a day's work. You find many couples who've been sexually starved for years. God created sex for procreation and also for pleasure.
You can't marry and not have a good time in bed.
WHO SAID YOU CAN ONLY HAVE SEX AT NIGHT?
Why can't you drive home during lunch and have a quickie with your wife?
We're all equal in sex - it's not just about a woman satisfying a man. You have to satisfy each other. Have you ever seen a woman who has been satisfied? Have u noticed how she glows and becomes energetic? May the Lord Bless you. This is the 'Whole Truth, Nothing But The Truth' so God ! Help Us From The Beginning.
Real Funny Confessions
Vanilla Pudding Robbery
This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, 'At least we'll have a bit to eat. '
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.
They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:
' IRELAND 'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING . . .
Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking..
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 20 yrs replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?'
I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped fishing.
funny but true
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory.. I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
span style="font-weight:bold;">Sick Leave
I really needed a few days off from work, but I knew the
boss wouldn't give me time off. I thought that maybe if I
acted "crazy," then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down from the ceiling and made funny
noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told her
that I was pretending to be a light bulb so the boss might
think I was desperately in need of a few days off.
A few minutes later, the boss came into the office and
asked, "What in the world are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb. He said, "You are clearly
stressed out. Go home and rest for a couple of days." I
jumped down and walked out of the office.
However, when my co-worker started to follow me, our boss
called out, "And where do you think you're going?"
She said, "I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark."
Getting old
An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names'.
The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!'
Subject: dinner table conversation
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, How many kinds of boobs are there?'
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'.
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.'
First time
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over0Aand whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon...and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into.
She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said,
'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in. 'Disregard.'
He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
FAMILY
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?' The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'
'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'
'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'
And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
LITTLE LADY:
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.'
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
OLD FRIENDS:
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.'
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!'
'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.. So, she turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!' Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving ?'
The following is an actual question given on a University of Oregon
chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting " Oh my God."
This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, 'At least we'll have a bit to eat. '
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.
They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:
' IRELAND 'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING . . .
Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking..
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 20 yrs replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?'
I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped fishing.
funny but true
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory.. I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
span style="font-weight:bold;">Sick Leave
I really needed a few days off from work, but I knew the
boss wouldn't give me time off. I thought that maybe if I
acted "crazy," then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down from the ceiling and made funny
noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told her
that I was pretending to be a light bulb so the boss might
think I was desperately in need of a few days off.
A few minutes later, the boss came into the office and
asked, "What in the world are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb. He said, "You are clearly
stressed out. Go home and rest for a couple of days." I
jumped down and walked out of the office.
However, when my co-worker started to follow me, our boss
called out, "And where do you think you're going?"
She said, "I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark."
Getting old
An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names'.
The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!'
Subject: dinner table conversation
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, How many kinds of boobs are there?'
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'.
'A Christmas tree?'
'Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.'
First time
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over0Aand whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon...and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into.
She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said,
'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in. 'Disregard.'
He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
FAMILY
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?' The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'
'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'
'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'
And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
LITTLE LADY:
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.'
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
OLD FRIENDS:
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.'
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!'
'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'
DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.. So, she turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!' Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving ?'
The following is an actual question given on a University of Oregon
chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting " Oh my God."
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Advertising Rates
TRUE CONFESSIONS JAMAICAN STYLE
www.trueconfessionsjamaicanstyle.blogspot.com
Published monthly by the BlackSlate Media Group Limited
The stories are riveting, addictive and once you begin you cannot put them down. Published monthly by the BlackSlate Media Group for the mature reader and borne out of an understanding that there are a few things happening out there, which we all need to know and learn about. People’s lives are impacted in different ways and sometimes there is a need to either share this joy or burden with someone as a means of making the burden lighter.
Advertising Rates please add GCT to all figures quoted
ADVERTISING SIZE (8.5” x 11”) Insertions Rates US$
Outside Back Cover(8” x 10”) 837.85
Page 3 (8” x 10”) 795.00
Inside Covers (8” x 10”) 752.15
Full Page (8" X 10") 564.28
Half Page (7.5" X 5") OR (4" X 10") 321.42
Quarter Page (4" X 5") 207.14
BOOKING DEADLINES
Final date for booking of advertising spaces 10th of each month
Final date for presentation of digital artwork – 15th of each month
JPEG, TIFF, PDF, OR EPS Formats accepted.
All advertising Contracts, insertions and Artwork to be emailed to blackslateholdings@gmail.com.
For Advertising Contact:
Neville Philpotts or Marcia Simon
For Editorial contact
blackslateholdings@gmail.com
Suite #6 the Domes, 85 Hagley Park Road Kingston 10, Jamaica
876-754-2293/ 2295, 960-6788 (o), 876-754-2298 (f)
www.trueconfessionsjamaicanstyle.blogspot.com
Published monthly by the BlackSlate Media Group Limited
The stories are riveting, addictive and once you begin you cannot put them down. Published monthly by the BlackSlate Media Group for the mature reader and borne out of an understanding that there are a few things happening out there, which we all need to know and learn about. People’s lives are impacted in different ways and sometimes there is a need to either share this joy or burden with someone as a means of making the burden lighter.
Advertising Rates please add GCT to all figures quoted
ADVERTISING SIZE (8.5” x 11”) Insertions Rates US$
Outside Back Cover(8” x 10”) 837.85
Page 3 (8” x 10”) 795.00
Inside Covers (8” x 10”) 752.15
Full Page (8" X 10") 564.28
Half Page (7.5" X 5") OR (4" X 10") 321.42
Quarter Page (4" X 5") 207.14
BOOKING DEADLINES
Final date for booking of advertising spaces 10th of each month
Final date for presentation of digital artwork – 15th of each month
JPEG, TIFF, PDF, OR EPS Formats accepted.
All advertising Contracts, insertions and Artwork to be emailed to blackslateholdings@gmail.com.
For Advertising Contact:
Neville Philpotts or Marcia Simon
For Editorial contact
blackslateholdings@gmail.com
Suite #6 the Domes, 85 Hagley Park Road Kingston 10, Jamaica
876-754-2293/ 2295, 960-6788 (o), 876-754-2298 (f)
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Jennifer and I remained secret lovers for close to a year and then one Sunday as I was downstairs washing my car, she came up to me with a broad smile
Jennifer Clarke was the Senior Manager in charge of New Business Development at one of our clients, a company that had extensive interest and shareholdings in the Media, telecommunications and Finance. She was in her early thirties, bright and highly regarded among her peers.
This was her second time at the company. Jennifer had resigned some three years earlier to study full time to complete her masters and had spent a year and a half working for a US company in California.
Now Jennifer was back at the company and making great strides. We had never met and so I was looking forward to meeting her. A number of people who had met her recently commented on how good she looked and how the California sun and lifestyle had really worked wonders on her.
Ice Advertising, the Ad Agency I co-founded with Karen Blake, had recently been awarded the account following a very competitive bid. We had to compete with four of the biggest and oldest agencies in the country and felt that it was a major victory to beat them. The account was big in comparison to the other accounts we had, $60 million dollars was a big account for us and we were ready for it.
Our first formal client meeting was scheduled for the client’s office and we were to be briefed and introduced to the marketing team who we would be working with. Karen and I knew most of the people on the team, from our prior encounters at cocktail parties and other industry functions and so we felt good going in knowing that we were not strangers. We arrived early for our 10:00 am meeting to be held on the third floor of the company headquarters in New Kingston. The offices were recently refurbished and looked great. We were very impressed with this new look.
The Administrative assistant to the Director of Marketing Paul Gates escorted us to the third floor conference room. Paul was married with two kids and has been with the company for over ten years and was considered to be one of the better marketing professionals in the country. We had spoken many times in the past and I was very impressed with his work.
As we entered the conference room I was immediately struck by the expansive view of the Long Mountain range going all the way back to Red Hills, through the glass windows that took up one side of the room. I took a seat facing the windows; the view was my kind of scenery. Karen sat beside me and I could see that she too was impressed with the view.
We were alone in the room and so Karen and I spoke a while about some business we had to sort out while on the road. As we talked I got up and walked over to the window to get a better look of the view of the mountains and the view of New Kingston below.
At exactly 10:02 Paul walked into the room with four other people in tow. Anthony Mackenzie his Marketing Manager, Michael Nelson, Promotions and events Manager, Annette Thomas, External Affairs and Jennifer Clarke Senior Manager in charge of New Business Development.
Everything I had heard about Jennifer was grossly understated. She was beautiful, tall and looked like a high fashion model. Jennifer was dressed in a black business suit that was very feminine that radiated power and success. Jennifer was telling everybody that she was on her way up and dressing the part. I felt inappropriately and inadequately dressed beside her.
“Jennifer how are you, I finally get a chance to meet you. I have heard so much about you,” I said shaking her carefully manicured hands.
“Howard, good to see you too, I trust that you will give me a chance to correct all the bad things you’ve heard about me” she replied smiling.
Jennifer and I spoke a while and took our seats around the table. Jennifer took a seat directly across the table from me, I immediately felt uncomfortable and nervous having this beautiful woman sitting in front of me. I deliberately turned my seat slightly to face Paul who was sitting at the head of the table. At least now I would not have to look at her directly.
For most of the meeting I could not take my eyes away from Jennifer and for some reason every time I looked in her direction I found that she was already looking at me.
The meeting was good and at 2:00 pm when we came out we were mentally exhausted. We were given our brief and told to go and produce their new campaign.
Jennifer and I never met again as she was constantly traveling and in meetings whenever I went to her office. There was one brief encounter when I was with Paul going over some layouts and storyboards for a new product they were launching. Jennifer knocked on Paul office door and pushed her head in.
“, Oh hi Howard how are you, Paul sorry to disturb you but I cannot make the 3 today, I have to fly to Montego Bay now to meet an investor for the investment bank we are setting up out there.” Jennifer said half way through the door.
“Ok just leave your report and notes with my assistant, I’ll cover for you.” Paul replied.
“Thanks Paul, See you later, Howard good to see you again, by the way are you coming to our company party next week, I hope Paul sent out your invitation” She said smiling at Paul.
“I have it here to give him, don’t worry, he’ll be there you can go now” Paul fired back at her.
As I was leaving Paul handed me an envelope with four invitations to the company Christmas party the following week.
Karen came to the party with her boyfriend, Steven Graham of five years; I deliberately came alone, hoping that Jennifer would also come alone.
Jennifer did not arrive until after 10 and as expected made an entrance. She was dressed in a tight fitting black mini dress and looked great. The eyes of all the men and women in the room where on her as she walked in, pretending not to see and notice the eyes on her. She was alone.
Paul came in about ten minutes after Jennifer and he was also alone. I assumed that his wife of ten years was not well or had opted not to attend staying with the kids.
Karen, Steven and I along with two other staff members were sitting at a table watching the happenings and chit chatting about all kinds of stuff. I was watching Jennifer as she walked around the room meeting and greeting company employees and specially invited guests.
Jennifer finally made her way over to our table and I rose to meet her. As she approached I held out my hand and she avoided it choosing to open her arms to hug me. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her; she hugged me back tightly and adjusted her body to fit perfectly with mine. The electricity was shocking, the hug felt good and I had an instant erection, Jennifer felt it and pressed even harder against me.
“It's good to see you Howard, save a dance for me” she whispered into my ear.
I’m going to save the whole night for you I said to myself. But said to Jennifer “If you can find time for me”
“I‘ll find time, you just be ready” she said and let me go.
I introduced her to the other team members and spoke briefly and she went off to meet the other guests.
I needed a drink and headed for the bar. Anthony Mackenzie was standing at the bar with a drink in hand watching the going ones.
“Howard, you made it,” he said as I approached.
“Would not miss it for the world” I replied and ordered a rum and coke.
Anthony and I stood by the bar and talked for a while, I wanted to find out some more about Jennifer. I wanted to know if she was playing with me or if she was for real.
“What’s the story on Jennifer” I finally asked Anthony.
“Jennifer, mmmm” he said and sipped on his drink.
“Jennifer, Jennifer is Paul’s girl man, that’s the story. They have been trying to keep it a secret, with Paul been married and all that but it’s not working. It’s the biggest secret in the company” He said.
“Paul’s girl “I replied in amazement. Now I understood why they both came to the party alone and ten minutes apart.
For the rest of the evening I sought to avoid Jennifer, the last thing I wanted to do was to fool around my Clients girl, only god knows what Paul would do if he found out I was trying to push him out. I figured the worst he would do was try to find a way to fire the agency to get back at me. Jennifer was not worth $60 million dollars in billings, not yet anyway.
Jennifer finally found me and dragged me onto the dance floor as they were playing calypso music. She could dance, was there anything this girl could not do I thought to myself. I wondered what she would be like in bed. The thought of losing 60 million quickly altered my thoughts.
Jennifer bumped and grinded me for over 30 minutes and if I said that I did not enjoy ever minutes of it, I would be lying. My erection was bursting to get out and Jennifer played and teased on it. For anybody looking on they would not have figured that anything usual was going on, but we were in an advanced stage of foreplay.
Then the music stopped and the beat slowed down, I saw Paul from the corner of my eye standing at the Bar talking to the President of the company and the Minister of Industry and Commerce, who was a good friend of the president. I could tell he was watching us.
Jennifer pulled me closer and we began to dance to the slow rhythms of the music.
“Having Fun” She whispered in my ear.
“Yeh” I said not sure what else to say.
Jennifer pressed hard against my erection and I responded by holding her closer.
“Howard, mind if I break in” it was Paul standing behind me.
“Sure no problem” I lied.
I disengaged myself from Jennifer and handed her over to Paul.
“Save the last dance for me” Jennifer said to me and turned looking at Paul.
As I walked off I could hear Paul arguing with Jennifer about how she was dancing with me. I looked back and saw Paul holding Jennifer by the arm and leading her off the dance area towards a cluster of empty tables and chairs. I walked over to the bar and surprisingly found Anthony still standing there.
“Told you man.” Anthony said to me as I came up to him.
“Dose she flirt a lot?” I asked.
“Not that I’m aware of, must be something about you, why she’s playing with you.”
“Me, doubt that very much, must be something else”
“Whatever it is, I suggest that you keep her at a distance until you can figure it out. You don’t want Paul on your case.”
“Yeh thanks”
Karen came up to me, and asked to speak with me. We walked off a short distance away from the music and prying ears.
“You know that Jennifer is Paul girlfriend?” Karin asked
“I just found out” I replied.
“You know what that means, keep your dick in your pants and leave her alone”
“She’s the one coming on to me. The woman’s playing some kind of game with me”
“Well she isn’t worth 60 million dollars you remember that, I know you Howie, you’re going to make a move on her. You know it and so do i.”
Karen was right, I was planning to make a move on Jennifer, but I had not factored on Paul in the picture. This was a high priced game now. I had to walk away from the table and find another game, a much cheaper game.
Karen said she was leaving and I decided to leave with them. I walked around and said goodbye to a few people and left. I did not see Jennifer and Paul so I left without talking to them.
I didn't talk to Paul for two to three days after the party. When we spoke we did not mention the incident or any reference to Jennifer outside of work related subjects.
Jennifer did call me five days after and invited me out to lunch. She even offered to pick me up. I hesitated before saying yes. I wanted to find out what she was up to.
Jennifer and I remained secret lovers for close to a year and then one Sunday as I was downstairs washing my car, she came up to me with a broad smile on her face.
She was pregnant…………………………… to be continued
This was her second time at the company. Jennifer had resigned some three years earlier to study full time to complete her masters and had spent a year and a half working for a US company in California.
Now Jennifer was back at the company and making great strides. We had never met and so I was looking forward to meeting her. A number of people who had met her recently commented on how good she looked and how the California sun and lifestyle had really worked wonders on her.
Ice Advertising, the Ad Agency I co-founded with Karen Blake, had recently been awarded the account following a very competitive bid. We had to compete with four of the biggest and oldest agencies in the country and felt that it was a major victory to beat them. The account was big in comparison to the other accounts we had, $60 million dollars was a big account for us and we were ready for it.
Our first formal client meeting was scheduled for the client’s office and we were to be briefed and introduced to the marketing team who we would be working with. Karen and I knew most of the people on the team, from our prior encounters at cocktail parties and other industry functions and so we felt good going in knowing that we were not strangers. We arrived early for our 10:00 am meeting to be held on the third floor of the company headquarters in New Kingston. The offices were recently refurbished and looked great. We were very impressed with this new look.
The Administrative assistant to the Director of Marketing Paul Gates escorted us to the third floor conference room. Paul was married with two kids and has been with the company for over ten years and was considered to be one of the better marketing professionals in the country. We had spoken many times in the past and I was very impressed with his work.
As we entered the conference room I was immediately struck by the expansive view of the Long Mountain range going all the way back to Red Hills, through the glass windows that took up one side of the room. I took a seat facing the windows; the view was my kind of scenery. Karen sat beside me and I could see that she too was impressed with the view.
We were alone in the room and so Karen and I spoke a while about some business we had to sort out while on the road. As we talked I got up and walked over to the window to get a better look of the view of the mountains and the view of New Kingston below.
At exactly 10:02 Paul walked into the room with four other people in tow. Anthony Mackenzie his Marketing Manager, Michael Nelson, Promotions and events Manager, Annette Thomas, External Affairs and Jennifer Clarke Senior Manager in charge of New Business Development.
Everything I had heard about Jennifer was grossly understated. She was beautiful, tall and looked like a high fashion model. Jennifer was dressed in a black business suit that was very feminine that radiated power and success. Jennifer was telling everybody that she was on her way up and dressing the part. I felt inappropriately and inadequately dressed beside her.
“Jennifer how are you, I finally get a chance to meet you. I have heard so much about you,” I said shaking her carefully manicured hands.
“Howard, good to see you too, I trust that you will give me a chance to correct all the bad things you’ve heard about me” she replied smiling.
Jennifer and I spoke a while and took our seats around the table. Jennifer took a seat directly across the table from me, I immediately felt uncomfortable and nervous having this beautiful woman sitting in front of me. I deliberately turned my seat slightly to face Paul who was sitting at the head of the table. At least now I would not have to look at her directly.
For most of the meeting I could not take my eyes away from Jennifer and for some reason every time I looked in her direction I found that she was already looking at me.
The meeting was good and at 2:00 pm when we came out we were mentally exhausted. We were given our brief and told to go and produce their new campaign.
Jennifer and I never met again as she was constantly traveling and in meetings whenever I went to her office. There was one brief encounter when I was with Paul going over some layouts and storyboards for a new product they were launching. Jennifer knocked on Paul office door and pushed her head in.
“, Oh hi Howard how are you, Paul sorry to disturb you but I cannot make the 3 today, I have to fly to Montego Bay now to meet an investor for the investment bank we are setting up out there.” Jennifer said half way through the door.
“Ok just leave your report and notes with my assistant, I’ll cover for you.” Paul replied.
“Thanks Paul, See you later, Howard good to see you again, by the way are you coming to our company party next week, I hope Paul sent out your invitation” She said smiling at Paul.
“I have it here to give him, don’t worry, he’ll be there you can go now” Paul fired back at her.
As I was leaving Paul handed me an envelope with four invitations to the company Christmas party the following week.
Karen came to the party with her boyfriend, Steven Graham of five years; I deliberately came alone, hoping that Jennifer would also come alone.
Jennifer did not arrive until after 10 and as expected made an entrance. She was dressed in a tight fitting black mini dress and looked great. The eyes of all the men and women in the room where on her as she walked in, pretending not to see and notice the eyes on her. She was alone.
Paul came in about ten minutes after Jennifer and he was also alone. I assumed that his wife of ten years was not well or had opted not to attend staying with the kids.
Karen, Steven and I along with two other staff members were sitting at a table watching the happenings and chit chatting about all kinds of stuff. I was watching Jennifer as she walked around the room meeting and greeting company employees and specially invited guests.
Jennifer finally made her way over to our table and I rose to meet her. As she approached I held out my hand and she avoided it choosing to open her arms to hug me. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her; she hugged me back tightly and adjusted her body to fit perfectly with mine. The electricity was shocking, the hug felt good and I had an instant erection, Jennifer felt it and pressed even harder against me.
“It's good to see you Howard, save a dance for me” she whispered into my ear.
I’m going to save the whole night for you I said to myself. But said to Jennifer “If you can find time for me”
“I‘ll find time, you just be ready” she said and let me go.
I introduced her to the other team members and spoke briefly and she went off to meet the other guests.
I needed a drink and headed for the bar. Anthony Mackenzie was standing at the bar with a drink in hand watching the going ones.
“Howard, you made it,” he said as I approached.
“Would not miss it for the world” I replied and ordered a rum and coke.
Anthony and I stood by the bar and talked for a while, I wanted to find out some more about Jennifer. I wanted to know if she was playing with me or if she was for real.
“What’s the story on Jennifer” I finally asked Anthony.
“Jennifer, mmmm” he said and sipped on his drink.
“Jennifer, Jennifer is Paul’s girl man, that’s the story. They have been trying to keep it a secret, with Paul been married and all that but it’s not working. It’s the biggest secret in the company” He said.
“Paul’s girl “I replied in amazement. Now I understood why they both came to the party alone and ten minutes apart.
For the rest of the evening I sought to avoid Jennifer, the last thing I wanted to do was to fool around my Clients girl, only god knows what Paul would do if he found out I was trying to push him out. I figured the worst he would do was try to find a way to fire the agency to get back at me. Jennifer was not worth $60 million dollars in billings, not yet anyway.
Jennifer finally found me and dragged me onto the dance floor as they were playing calypso music. She could dance, was there anything this girl could not do I thought to myself. I wondered what she would be like in bed. The thought of losing 60 million quickly altered my thoughts.
Jennifer bumped and grinded me for over 30 minutes and if I said that I did not enjoy ever minutes of it, I would be lying. My erection was bursting to get out and Jennifer played and teased on it. For anybody looking on they would not have figured that anything usual was going on, but we were in an advanced stage of foreplay.
Then the music stopped and the beat slowed down, I saw Paul from the corner of my eye standing at the Bar talking to the President of the company and the Minister of Industry and Commerce, who was a good friend of the president. I could tell he was watching us.
Jennifer pulled me closer and we began to dance to the slow rhythms of the music.
“Having Fun” She whispered in my ear.
“Yeh” I said not sure what else to say.
Jennifer pressed hard against my erection and I responded by holding her closer.
“Howard, mind if I break in” it was Paul standing behind me.
“Sure no problem” I lied.
I disengaged myself from Jennifer and handed her over to Paul.
“Save the last dance for me” Jennifer said to me and turned looking at Paul.
As I walked off I could hear Paul arguing with Jennifer about how she was dancing with me. I looked back and saw Paul holding Jennifer by the arm and leading her off the dance area towards a cluster of empty tables and chairs. I walked over to the bar and surprisingly found Anthony still standing there.
“Told you man.” Anthony said to me as I came up to him.
“Dose she flirt a lot?” I asked.
“Not that I’m aware of, must be something about you, why she’s playing with you.”
“Me, doubt that very much, must be something else”
“Whatever it is, I suggest that you keep her at a distance until you can figure it out. You don’t want Paul on your case.”
“Yeh thanks”
Karen came up to me, and asked to speak with me. We walked off a short distance away from the music and prying ears.
“You know that Jennifer is Paul girlfriend?” Karin asked
“I just found out” I replied.
“You know what that means, keep your dick in your pants and leave her alone”
“She’s the one coming on to me. The woman’s playing some kind of game with me”
“Well she isn’t worth 60 million dollars you remember that, I know you Howie, you’re going to make a move on her. You know it and so do i.”
Karen was right, I was planning to make a move on Jennifer, but I had not factored on Paul in the picture. This was a high priced game now. I had to walk away from the table and find another game, a much cheaper game.
Karen said she was leaving and I decided to leave with them. I walked around and said goodbye to a few people and left. I did not see Jennifer and Paul so I left without talking to them.
I didn't talk to Paul for two to three days after the party. When we spoke we did not mention the incident or any reference to Jennifer outside of work related subjects.
Jennifer did call me five days after and invited me out to lunch. She even offered to pick me up. I hesitated before saying yes. I wanted to find out what she was up to.
Jennifer and I remained secret lovers for close to a year and then one Sunday as I was downstairs washing my car, she came up to me with a broad smile on her face.
She was pregnant…………………………… to be continued
Marie and I made love every night for the remaining days and on the final night we cried like babies.
I was attending a World Bank sponsored two-week worldwide annual conference for young business executives; CEO’s to be exact. I had never been to Washington and therefore asked the organizers to have someone meet me at the airport.
The visit to Washington was in many ways, an opportunity to get away from things at the office and think over my life and see where I was going. It was also a well-deserved break from the office.
I was not planning to go to the conference, the time was not right I thought.Business at the Agency was good and growing and the future was looking bright. But I needed to get away to step back and see things from a distance. The last time I was away from the company was almost two years ago for three weeks in 1998. I had taken some time off and went to Barbados for two weeks and spent a week in Trinidad.
The morning, Karen Blake came into my office with her familiar mug of black coffee and sat down in the lazy boy chair in the corner I knew something was up. She told me it was a perfect opportunity to see some Advertising people in Washington who wanted to buy into our company and fund our regional growth.
I figured that forces were forming against me and I would have to go.
September of 2000 was defiantly not the best time. We were in the process of preparing a major bid for an international account out of the US, with local offices in Jamaica and three other Caribbean islands.
The presentation was scheduled for September 11th and getting this account would really put the company on the map. I wanted to be there and ensure that everything was going right.
Karen Blake was my business partner and together we ran the Advertising Agency. Ice Advertising was formed after we both decided that what we were doing for our former employer was not in our best long-term interest and that we should set up our own shop.
Karen was the Creative Director at Ice Advertising and was largely responsible for landing some of our major accounts. To say that Karen was in demand by the other agencies was an understatement. She could walk into any ad shop and pick up the top creative position.
I was the President and director of Client Services, the one who kept the accounts spending and bring revenues into the agency.
“Can I offer you a drink sir” the Air Hostess was by my seat.
“Do you have fruit juice”?
“Apple and orange”
Orange would be fine “I said. We were about 30 minutes out of JFK and the long flight was coming to end. I started to look for my immigration forms and began to fill them out.
Seeing my name on the white sheet of paper in the hands of the white girl waiting among the throng of people looking out for arriving passengers, was kind of strange. It told everybody present that I was new to the city and did not know where I was going. I didn’t like that, but what the hell nobody knew me anyway.
“That’s me, how are you,” I said to the white girl waiting for me, she was no more than 24 or 25.
“Mr. Patterson, how are you, had a nice flight. My name is Debbie Mills and I am in charge of the delegates coming in from the Caribbean and South America.”
“Ok, that’s great, where do we go”
“Just one more stop, we have to go over to terminal 4 to meet a delegate who came in late from South Africa and missed her contact. I followed Debbie through the various lounges to terminal 4.
I did not see her at first and would not have noticed her if Debbie had not called me and introduced me.
“Howard Patterson this is Marie Nassali from South Africa, Marie this is Howard from Kingston, Jamaica.”
“Hi, how are you Marie” I dared not try call her last name.
“Hello, how are you” Marie replied.
The words coming out of Marie mouth sounded like music; maybe it was a combination of how she spoke and her accent. Whatever it was, I was hooked on the South African language, the English anyway.
Marie was sitting on a stool, dressed in a soft pink sweat suit, which I thought at the time was kind of out of place. Marie jumped down of the stool and looked up at me. She was short but not too short.
“I’m fine thank you,” I said looking down at her. She had a very clean and clear complexion, suggesting that there was some intermingling with the white man somewhere back in her family tree. Her skin was flawless, on her face and hands anyway. Other than her height she was very attractive and likely the most beautiful woman I had seen in a long time from Africa.
“I’m going to put both of you in a taxi, to the hotel and I will check with you and the rest of the group this evening.” Debbie said, moving towards the exist. Marie and I followed, lugging our bags.
On the way to the taxi stand Debbie gave each of us a package which contained all the information we required to settle in, itinerary, maps, restaurant locations, transport guide, tourist points, and information about the hotel we would be staying.
“Here we are” Debbie said as we moved towards the taxi she had chartered. She told the driver where we were going and paid him.
I helped Marie put her bags into the back of the taxi and the driver placed my bags. Maria and I said goodbye to Debbie, confirmed meeting later and got into the taxi.
Marie was sitting on the other side of the back seat next to me; there was enough space between us to fit at least two other adults. I looked over and noticed that she had on a wedding band. She was married. I tried to make small talk.
“Is this your first time in Washington” I enquired.
“Yes, it is” she replied in that musical voice without looking at me.
“It’s my first time too”.
There was silence for a while. It was there and then that I vowed to have her before the conference in Washington was over.
We made small talk on the way to the hotel, even engaging the taxi driver as a tour guide, with him pointing out various important landmarks and buildings. So this was the seat of world power. One would have thought that there was more to it than this.
On the way over I learned that Marie was the Executive Director for a non-profit organization, specializing in constitutional development and Alternative Resources in Johannesburg, South Africa. Her job and responsibilities was extensive and covered quite a bit of the countries in Southern Africa. My job as the head of an advertising agency seemed insignificant in comparison to the impact she made in people’s lives.
“This is it,” said the taxi driver as he pulled into the hotel drive way. The Embassy Square Hotel was not grand, but comfortable. It was located on the corner of New Hampshire Avenue and 20th Street and was about 30 to 45 minutes walk from the White House.
We checked in, Marie was sharing a suite with another delegate from Mexico who had already checked.
I was alone in my suite, I smiled.
We boarded the elevator, Marie was on the third floor and I was on the fifth floor. At the third floor I said goodbye to Marie and we reminded each other of the get together later that evening for all the delegates.
My suite was more like a one bedroom apartment, complete with kitchen, living room and bedroom. I was very happy with how it looked.
After scouting out the rooms I turned the TV on and started to unpack. I took a hot shower and fell across the bed and slept like a baby.
The phone was ringing and it woke me up.
“Hello” I said still sleepy
“Howard, this is Debbie, are you coming down?”
“What time is it?” I said jumping of the bed.
“Its 7:00 pm” she said
We were to meet at 6:30 in the main meeting room on the ground floor.
“I’ll be down in five minutes,” I said.
“Ok” Debbie said and hung up.
There were about fifteen people in the room, sitting around a long table. Debbie and another white girl were sitting at the top of the table speaking to the group.
“Howard, welcome, glad you could join us.” This was not the way I wanted to be introduced to the group.
“Sorry I’m late I overslept”
“And here comes Ngozi Ezi-Ashi from Nigeria” Debbie Said.
It appears I was not the only one who was late. As a matter of fact three other persons came after Ngozi. I sat down at the end of the table and looked around for Marie. She was sitting on the other side of the table not far from the top.
Marie did not even look my way.
We were introduced to the other delegates and had to say a few things about who we were, where we worked and all that stuff.
We had quite a group. There were delegates from all over the world, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Mexico, Colombia Puerto Rico, Nigeria, South Africa, Malaysia, Singapore the US and of course Jamaica. The other white girl beside Debbie was Samantha Richardson, and she was going over the programme of activities for the next few days and what would be required of us each day.
For the first six days I sought to engage Marie in friendly discussions but it was never allowed to get too far. She was always very friendly and courteous to me but never once did she give an indication that she was holding some kind of affection for me. We had breakfast most mornings along with other members of the group and that was due to my ensuring that I was in the breakfast area at the same time she was. The first three days I came down after her, but on the fourth day she came down after me, collected her breakfast and sat at my table. We had breakfast every day until the end of the programme. With each passing day I felt as if the wall was coming down.
I made contact with the advertising people Karen said I should link up with. I called and they said they were expecting my call. Karen had emailed them to expect me. The Vice President of the company was coming to pick me up on the eighth-day, a Saturday and take me back to the Presidents house in Virginia, which I later found out to be a mansion on a ten-acre property overlooking the Potomac River.
We went to the Presidents house, where some other company executives were waiting and talked for a while. The President, Billy O’Connor was the founder and head of one of the largest Advertising Agencies in the US with offices around the US and Europe. He had heard about our Agency and wanted to see if we could work out some arrangement to represent them in Jamaica and the wider Caribbean. They were prepared to fund the expansion for a piece of the equity in the enlarged company. What was driving the deal was that two of their major clients were setting up operations in the Caribbean and they needed local representation.
After the meeting I left with Billy and two other executives and went sailing in Billy Yacht on the Potomac River, it was his major passion and pastime and he could afford it.
Billy knew this was my first time in Washington and wanted to show me the sights from the river. We circled the Theodore Roosevelt Island and he pointed out the Memorial to this Great US president on the island. From the river we could also see the Reflecting Pool from where Martin Luther King gave his great speech. The Kennedy Center and the famous Watergate Hotel was also visible from the river.
We spent over two hours on the river looking over important landmarks; I however got the feeling that Billy was using the opportunity to find out more about me.
I came away from the experience with an increased desire to succeed and become financially secure. There were something’s you could do with money that I had not yet experienced and Billy had opened by eyes.
I came back to the hotel late that afternoon and went to my room. It was too early for bed and I did not know what to do.
I called Marie rooms
“Hello” Marie answered after four rings with her musical voice.
“Marie is that you” I said.
“Howard how are you”
“I’m fine, what you doing?”
“I’m not doing anything at the moment”
“Let’s go out for a walk”
“Where?”
“Let's go down to the White House and visit The Mall, we may find some interesting things.”
“Oh, ok then”
“Meet you in the lobby in ten minutes”
“Ok, see you then”.
I went down to the lobby five minutes later and waited for her.
Marie came down dressed in black slacks, white sweater and her black leather jacket. She looked good.
She smiled as she walked up to me, it was clear that she was happy to see me.
“You look great,” I told her
“Thank you”
“Let’s go” I said and led her outside the hotel and began to walk the one-mile or so to White House.
We decided against going up to DuPont Circle and taking the train down to Farragut Square which would have placed us ten minutes from the White House and opted to walk.
We talked about all kinds of things on the way and it was really good to be with her. I noticed that she was keeping very close to me, sometimes to the point of almost, falling over each other. I suspected that she wanted to stay close for security reasons. Not that there was any need for concern, as Washington and especially where we were staying, less than five miles from the White House, was very safe.
As we entered Lafayette Park she stopped and sat on a park bench, I turned back and sat down beside her. We had been walking for about forty minutes and I guessed she was tired.
“What’s up?” I said
“Nothing, I just want to sit and talk for a while.” Marie replied with a smile on her face.
She was looking at me now, but not saying anything, only smiling. We sat in silence for a while. I figured now was as good a time as any to put my cards on the table.
“You do know that I am extremely attracted to you,” I ventured
“Yes” Marie replied.
I started to tell her about my feelings for her and how for the past eight days I have been trying to get her to give me indication as to what she was thinking and feeling. I literally poured out everything that I had been storing up inside.
She just kept looking at me with a smile on her face. The more I talked the more she listened and smiled and the more I just wanted to hold her and kiss her. I stopped talking and turned around fully on the bench facing her. Without even thinking about it I leaned over and kissed her on the lips. She kissed me back. There were fireworks and explosions going off inside of me. The dam was burst open and everything was flooding out. She kissed me back with wild hot passion and I met her with my own fire. We did not care that were in a public place.
When we finally came up for air Marie said. “I thought you were going to talk for ever, you know how long I have been waiting for you to do that”. I smiled and kissed her again. We hugged each other on the bench. It was her turn to empty all that she had been holding back. Marie was surprised at how quickly she became attracted to me. It started the first morning we had breakfast together. From that morning she would get up each day and could not wait to come down to see me. Marie also confessed at how she would always try not to look at me during our sessions and workshops and she would ensure that she did not sit next to me. She said she could not take the intensity of been so close. But she would always sit so that I was in her sphere of vision.
We sat on the bench and talked, and talked and talked. Before we knew it was late in the evening. We hailed a taxi and went back to the hotel. We did not reach The Mall or The White House we would have to go another day.
From the time we left the park bench, got in the taxi and walked in the hotel lobby we did not let go of each other, for fear that it would all disappear. In the elevator we kissed passionately as soon as the door closed. On the third floor we finally parted and agreed that we would meet in my suite in twenty minutes.
Twenty minutes later there was a knock on my door, I jumped of the bed and peeped through the little hole in the door. It was Marie dressed in a large and colorful South African dress.
I opened the door to let her in. She looked and smelled good. I pulled her inside and we started to kiss as the door closed. She was absolutely naked beneath the dress and the thought of her naked body excited me even further.
She was even more beautiful naked, her skin was flawless; the mix of Negro and Caucasian had given her a perfect coffee brown like complexion.
We made love all night.
What I found surprising about the whole sexual episode was that I was able to keep going for much longer than my usual twenty to thirty minutes before cumin. Maybe it was how she would slow us down when she knew I was on the verge or when she would ask me to stop when she was on the verge. We did not want to climax we wanted to keep going and going and going.
Marie knew how to excite and take you to the edge, she was good at making love and she knew it. She would for example contract the muscles of her vagina, forming a kind of clamp around my penis. The sensation this created is hard to describe, only that it was highly erotic. Later while lying in bed, I asked her about it.
“You like it?” she enquired with a mischievous and teasing tone and look.
“Like it, dam girl that move makes the hair on my back stand up” I replied.
“But you don’t have any hair on your back”
“That what I’m talking about”
We both laughed and hugged.
“I found out I could do it my experimenting with myself and overtime and with practice I was able to control the movement at will.” She whispered in my ear.
“What else can you do?” I enquired, desperate to know what else was possible in store for me.
“You’ll just have to wait and see” she said.
We spent the better part of Sunday in my Suite making love, talking and watching TV. We eat the food I had brought not wanting to leave and go out. We did however go out in the evening for dinner. We went to the Japan Inn restaurant, regarded as one of the most elegant and complete Japanese restaurants in Georgetown. After dinner we went back to my suite and made love.
Marie and I had to keep this affair a secret, as we did not want the other delegates to know what we were up to. We both knew that we would have to be extra careful from now on when in their company.
I came down early Monday morning for breakfast and waited for Marie at our usual table. After our love making last night Marie returned to her room, even though I wanted her to stay.
“Can I join you” I looked up and Jennifer Rutledge was standing with her breakfast tray in hand.
“Sure, sure” I lied.
Jennifer was one of the delegates from Puerto Rico. She had moved there about three years ago from the US to take up a new assignment.
“So how are you finding the programme so far? I asked her.
“It’s not too bad, I find that most of the stuff we’re getting is good and I can already see how I’m going to apply it back in Puerto Rico. How are you finding it?”
“It all very new to me, but I’m learning to appreciate the information. For me, hearing of the other delegates experience in different countries and economies is an eye opener”. I said, looking if Marie was in yet.
I looked over at the door and saw Marie walk in the room, heading towards the buffet line. Jennifer was talking to me but I was not paying much attention, I was watching Marie. She picked up her breakfast and headed over to our table.
“Marie, how are you” Jennifer said as Marie came to the table and sat down beside her, directly across the table from me.
“I’m fine thank you” Marie replied with a smile on her face.
“Howard good morning, how are you?” Marie said to me as though we had not seen each other in the last twenty-four hours.
“I’m fine, I had a great night last night” I said looking her straight in the face. She had a faint smile on her lips, knowing the meaning of my response.
“Marie you look great this morning, your face looks so bright and radiant and your eyes are just sparkling. Seems you had a restful night” Jennifer said looking over at Marie.
Marie and I both started to laugh; Jennifer was looking at us with a quizzinly look on her face.
“What, what, what did I say” Jennifer said.
We could not answer, we were laughing so much.
“I had a great night last night” Marie said finally looking away from me.
The three of us talked for a while about the programme and our experience so far. During all the talking Marie and I were playing footsie under table.
“What time is it?” Jennifer said suddenly.
“Oh shit we have to go now, the morning session starts in ten minutes,” I said looking at my watch.
We got up and made our way over to the conference centre.
When we got into the room Marie and I went in separate directions, I wanted to sit beside her, but she told me not to as she would not be able to deal with me being so close to her. So I sat directly across from her in the horseshoe seating arrangement.
For the entire morning session Marie did not look at me once. She made an effort never to look in my direction. Even when I asked a question, while everybody was looking at me, she was looking at something in the papers in front of her. But there was a very brief moment when our eyes met and she began to smile and as quickly as it appeared she wiped it off. During the lunch break I asked her about it.
“You do not know how hard it is to sit across the room from you and not look at you.” Marie confessed. “I know that the moment I look at you, everybody will be able to look at my face and know what is going on, and that’s why I’m trying not to look at you. But you make it so hard; you just keep looking at me.” Marie continued.
“So you can’t even look at me once” I begged.
“If I do, I will not be able to control the expression on my face.” Marie said.
After lunch we returned to the conference room, I diverted to the bathroom because I wanted to come in late to get Marie’s attention. When I came into the room I noticed that Marie had changed her position and was now to my right. I looked over at her and she had a smile on her face. She was taking this serious. I sat down and looked at the new person in front of me. Marie had exchanged place with Benedict Cheong from Singapore. I was going to make this hard for her. I turned to my right and looked directly at her; she looked at me and began to smile.
We both saw Jennifer looking at us with a smile on her face and a look that said “Caught you. I know what you did last night”.
Marie and I did not look directly at each other for the rest of the day.
The conference would be over in another two days. Marie and I never talked about it because we just could not face the fact that we would never see each other again. She would go back to South Africa and me to Jamaica, never to see each other again. When we finally decided to talk about it, we promised each other to meet back in Washington one year from now. We agreed and wrote it down September 11th 2001 and promised each other to be here, in this hotel. Somehow we both knew that we were playing with long odds of us ever meeting again but it kept us going.
We made love every night for the remaining days and on the final night we cried like babies.
Marie and I were scheduled to depart from JFK one hour apart. My flight was leaving for Miami at 11:00 am and hers leaving for New York at 12:30 for a connecting flight to Johannesburg.
On the way to the airport we did not talk much. In the two weeks that we were in Washington we had fallen deeply in love with each other and now were about to depart to far flung corners of the globe maybe never to see each other again. Life was unfair I thought.
“Do you know how much time has been wasted; when I think of all the time I spent fighting my feelings and trying to ignore you. Looking back now I wish I could have then again” Marie said finally.
I just kept silent. It was largely her fault that we had taken so long to connect, but now was not the time to lay blame. We had less than four hours left together; I wanted to make sure I used up every second of it.
I turned to Marie and kissed her, she began to kiss me back and we both started to cry again. We hugged all the way to the airport in silence.
I checked in first and then followed Marie to her check in counter, which was next to mine. Our departure lounges were also next to each other.
“You know the more I think about this whole experience the more I’m convinced that this was all meant to be.” I said to Marie as we sat and waited for our flights.
“What do you mean?” Marie said looking at me.
“Well, think about it, your flight was delayed and so we met at the airport, we took the same taxi to the hotel, I was the only delegate who did not share a room, and we are leaving Washington at the same time from departure lounge next to each other. This all seems like a lot of coincidences, but to me it was all part of the master plan. We were supposed to meet and have this time together. We may never see each other again but we will always have this memory and experience for as long as we live.”
“Hearing you put it together like that it does seem like destiny” Marie said still looking at me.
Marie was looking at me as though she wanted to burn my face and image into her memory so that she would always remember what I looked like.
“Passengers boarding on AA flight 234 departing for Miami, please board at gate 24” the dreaded words came over the speaker system. As we heard it we knew that the moment had arrived. Marie looked up at me.
“I love you” she said and kissed me. I kissed her back and said, “I love you too” We did not know what else to say.
I got up reluctantly and picked up my carry on case, I thought of deliberately missing the flight and taking a later flight, but that was just delaying the inevitable. I had to go back to Jamaican and she had to go back to South Africa.
Marie turned away from me and told me that she did not want to see me go. I felt that now was the time; it was either now or never. I walked over to the line of departing passengers and stood in line. I was still looking at Marie; she was turned away from me. I could not take my eyes from her.
I was about one person from the boarding gate when Marie got up and ran towards me. I ran out of the line towards her leaving my bag on the ground.
We hugged, embraced, kissed, cried, laughed, but we mostly cried.
“See you September 11th 2001,” I said, “Make sure you’re here.”
“I‘ll be here,” she said with a smile on her face.
I turned and boarded the plane, I could not look back.
The visit to Washington was in many ways, an opportunity to get away from things at the office and think over my life and see where I was going. It was also a well-deserved break from the office.
I was not planning to go to the conference, the time was not right I thought.Business at the Agency was good and growing and the future was looking bright. But I needed to get away to step back and see things from a distance. The last time I was away from the company was almost two years ago for three weeks in 1998. I had taken some time off and went to Barbados for two weeks and spent a week in Trinidad.
The morning, Karen Blake came into my office with her familiar mug of black coffee and sat down in the lazy boy chair in the corner I knew something was up. She told me it was a perfect opportunity to see some Advertising people in Washington who wanted to buy into our company and fund our regional growth.
I figured that forces were forming against me and I would have to go.
September of 2000 was defiantly not the best time. We were in the process of preparing a major bid for an international account out of the US, with local offices in Jamaica and three other Caribbean islands.
The presentation was scheduled for September 11th and getting this account would really put the company on the map. I wanted to be there and ensure that everything was going right.
Karen Blake was my business partner and together we ran the Advertising Agency. Ice Advertising was formed after we both decided that what we were doing for our former employer was not in our best long-term interest and that we should set up our own shop.
Karen was the Creative Director at Ice Advertising and was largely responsible for landing some of our major accounts. To say that Karen was in demand by the other agencies was an understatement. She could walk into any ad shop and pick up the top creative position.
I was the President and director of Client Services, the one who kept the accounts spending and bring revenues into the agency.
“Can I offer you a drink sir” the Air Hostess was by my seat.
“Do you have fruit juice”?
“Apple and orange”
Orange would be fine “I said. We were about 30 minutes out of JFK and the long flight was coming to end. I started to look for my immigration forms and began to fill them out.
Seeing my name on the white sheet of paper in the hands of the white girl waiting among the throng of people looking out for arriving passengers, was kind of strange. It told everybody present that I was new to the city and did not know where I was going. I didn’t like that, but what the hell nobody knew me anyway.
“That’s me, how are you,” I said to the white girl waiting for me, she was no more than 24 or 25.
“Mr. Patterson, how are you, had a nice flight. My name is Debbie Mills and I am in charge of the delegates coming in from the Caribbean and South America.”
“Ok, that’s great, where do we go”
“Just one more stop, we have to go over to terminal 4 to meet a delegate who came in late from South Africa and missed her contact. I followed Debbie through the various lounges to terminal 4.
I did not see her at first and would not have noticed her if Debbie had not called me and introduced me.
“Howard Patterson this is Marie Nassali from South Africa, Marie this is Howard from Kingston, Jamaica.”
“Hi, how are you Marie” I dared not try call her last name.
“Hello, how are you” Marie replied.
The words coming out of Marie mouth sounded like music; maybe it was a combination of how she spoke and her accent. Whatever it was, I was hooked on the South African language, the English anyway.
Marie was sitting on a stool, dressed in a soft pink sweat suit, which I thought at the time was kind of out of place. Marie jumped down of the stool and looked up at me. She was short but not too short.
“I’m fine thank you,” I said looking down at her. She had a very clean and clear complexion, suggesting that there was some intermingling with the white man somewhere back in her family tree. Her skin was flawless, on her face and hands anyway. Other than her height she was very attractive and likely the most beautiful woman I had seen in a long time from Africa.
“I’m going to put both of you in a taxi, to the hotel and I will check with you and the rest of the group this evening.” Debbie said, moving towards the exist. Marie and I followed, lugging our bags.
On the way to the taxi stand Debbie gave each of us a package which contained all the information we required to settle in, itinerary, maps, restaurant locations, transport guide, tourist points, and information about the hotel we would be staying.
“Here we are” Debbie said as we moved towards the taxi she had chartered. She told the driver where we were going and paid him.
I helped Marie put her bags into the back of the taxi and the driver placed my bags. Maria and I said goodbye to Debbie, confirmed meeting later and got into the taxi.
Marie was sitting on the other side of the back seat next to me; there was enough space between us to fit at least two other adults. I looked over and noticed that she had on a wedding band. She was married. I tried to make small talk.
“Is this your first time in Washington” I enquired.
“Yes, it is” she replied in that musical voice without looking at me.
“It’s my first time too”.
There was silence for a while. It was there and then that I vowed to have her before the conference in Washington was over.
We made small talk on the way to the hotel, even engaging the taxi driver as a tour guide, with him pointing out various important landmarks and buildings. So this was the seat of world power. One would have thought that there was more to it than this.
On the way over I learned that Marie was the Executive Director for a non-profit organization, specializing in constitutional development and Alternative Resources in Johannesburg, South Africa. Her job and responsibilities was extensive and covered quite a bit of the countries in Southern Africa. My job as the head of an advertising agency seemed insignificant in comparison to the impact she made in people’s lives.
“This is it,” said the taxi driver as he pulled into the hotel drive way. The Embassy Square Hotel was not grand, but comfortable. It was located on the corner of New Hampshire Avenue and 20th Street and was about 30 to 45 minutes walk from the White House.
We checked in, Marie was sharing a suite with another delegate from Mexico who had already checked.
I was alone in my suite, I smiled.
We boarded the elevator, Marie was on the third floor and I was on the fifth floor. At the third floor I said goodbye to Marie and we reminded each other of the get together later that evening for all the delegates.
My suite was more like a one bedroom apartment, complete with kitchen, living room and bedroom. I was very happy with how it looked.
After scouting out the rooms I turned the TV on and started to unpack. I took a hot shower and fell across the bed and slept like a baby.
The phone was ringing and it woke me up.
“Hello” I said still sleepy
“Howard, this is Debbie, are you coming down?”
“What time is it?” I said jumping of the bed.
“Its 7:00 pm” she said
We were to meet at 6:30 in the main meeting room on the ground floor.
“I’ll be down in five minutes,” I said.
“Ok” Debbie said and hung up.
There were about fifteen people in the room, sitting around a long table. Debbie and another white girl were sitting at the top of the table speaking to the group.
“Howard, welcome, glad you could join us.” This was not the way I wanted to be introduced to the group.
“Sorry I’m late I overslept”
“And here comes Ngozi Ezi-Ashi from Nigeria” Debbie Said.
It appears I was not the only one who was late. As a matter of fact three other persons came after Ngozi. I sat down at the end of the table and looked around for Marie. She was sitting on the other side of the table not far from the top.
Marie did not even look my way.
We were introduced to the other delegates and had to say a few things about who we were, where we worked and all that stuff.
We had quite a group. There were delegates from all over the world, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Mexico, Colombia Puerto Rico, Nigeria, South Africa, Malaysia, Singapore the US and of course Jamaica. The other white girl beside Debbie was Samantha Richardson, and she was going over the programme of activities for the next few days and what would be required of us each day.
For the first six days I sought to engage Marie in friendly discussions but it was never allowed to get too far. She was always very friendly and courteous to me but never once did she give an indication that she was holding some kind of affection for me. We had breakfast most mornings along with other members of the group and that was due to my ensuring that I was in the breakfast area at the same time she was. The first three days I came down after her, but on the fourth day she came down after me, collected her breakfast and sat at my table. We had breakfast every day until the end of the programme. With each passing day I felt as if the wall was coming down.
I made contact with the advertising people Karen said I should link up with. I called and they said they were expecting my call. Karen had emailed them to expect me. The Vice President of the company was coming to pick me up on the eighth-day, a Saturday and take me back to the Presidents house in Virginia, which I later found out to be a mansion on a ten-acre property overlooking the Potomac River.
We went to the Presidents house, where some other company executives were waiting and talked for a while. The President, Billy O’Connor was the founder and head of one of the largest Advertising Agencies in the US with offices around the US and Europe. He had heard about our Agency and wanted to see if we could work out some arrangement to represent them in Jamaica and the wider Caribbean. They were prepared to fund the expansion for a piece of the equity in the enlarged company. What was driving the deal was that two of their major clients were setting up operations in the Caribbean and they needed local representation.
After the meeting I left with Billy and two other executives and went sailing in Billy Yacht on the Potomac River, it was his major passion and pastime and he could afford it.
Billy knew this was my first time in Washington and wanted to show me the sights from the river. We circled the Theodore Roosevelt Island and he pointed out the Memorial to this Great US president on the island. From the river we could also see the Reflecting Pool from where Martin Luther King gave his great speech. The Kennedy Center and the famous Watergate Hotel was also visible from the river.
We spent over two hours on the river looking over important landmarks; I however got the feeling that Billy was using the opportunity to find out more about me.
I came away from the experience with an increased desire to succeed and become financially secure. There were something’s you could do with money that I had not yet experienced and Billy had opened by eyes.
I came back to the hotel late that afternoon and went to my room. It was too early for bed and I did not know what to do.
I called Marie rooms
“Hello” Marie answered after four rings with her musical voice.
“Marie is that you” I said.
“Howard how are you”
“I’m fine, what you doing?”
“I’m not doing anything at the moment”
“Let’s go out for a walk”
“Where?”
“Let's go down to the White House and visit The Mall, we may find some interesting things.”
“Oh, ok then”
“Meet you in the lobby in ten minutes”
“Ok, see you then”.
I went down to the lobby five minutes later and waited for her.
Marie came down dressed in black slacks, white sweater and her black leather jacket. She looked good.
She smiled as she walked up to me, it was clear that she was happy to see me.
“You look great,” I told her
“Thank you”
“Let’s go” I said and led her outside the hotel and began to walk the one-mile or so to White House.
We decided against going up to DuPont Circle and taking the train down to Farragut Square which would have placed us ten minutes from the White House and opted to walk.
We talked about all kinds of things on the way and it was really good to be with her. I noticed that she was keeping very close to me, sometimes to the point of almost, falling over each other. I suspected that she wanted to stay close for security reasons. Not that there was any need for concern, as Washington and especially where we were staying, less than five miles from the White House, was very safe.
As we entered Lafayette Park she stopped and sat on a park bench, I turned back and sat down beside her. We had been walking for about forty minutes and I guessed she was tired.
“What’s up?” I said
“Nothing, I just want to sit and talk for a while.” Marie replied with a smile on her face.
She was looking at me now, but not saying anything, only smiling. We sat in silence for a while. I figured now was as good a time as any to put my cards on the table.
“You do know that I am extremely attracted to you,” I ventured
“Yes” Marie replied.
I started to tell her about my feelings for her and how for the past eight days I have been trying to get her to give me indication as to what she was thinking and feeling. I literally poured out everything that I had been storing up inside.
She just kept looking at me with a smile on her face. The more I talked the more she listened and smiled and the more I just wanted to hold her and kiss her. I stopped talking and turned around fully on the bench facing her. Without even thinking about it I leaned over and kissed her on the lips. She kissed me back. There were fireworks and explosions going off inside of me. The dam was burst open and everything was flooding out. She kissed me back with wild hot passion and I met her with my own fire. We did not care that were in a public place.
When we finally came up for air Marie said. “I thought you were going to talk for ever, you know how long I have been waiting for you to do that”. I smiled and kissed her again. We hugged each other on the bench. It was her turn to empty all that she had been holding back. Marie was surprised at how quickly she became attracted to me. It started the first morning we had breakfast together. From that morning she would get up each day and could not wait to come down to see me. Marie also confessed at how she would always try not to look at me during our sessions and workshops and she would ensure that she did not sit next to me. She said she could not take the intensity of been so close. But she would always sit so that I was in her sphere of vision.
We sat on the bench and talked, and talked and talked. Before we knew it was late in the evening. We hailed a taxi and went back to the hotel. We did not reach The Mall or The White House we would have to go another day.
From the time we left the park bench, got in the taxi and walked in the hotel lobby we did not let go of each other, for fear that it would all disappear. In the elevator we kissed passionately as soon as the door closed. On the third floor we finally parted and agreed that we would meet in my suite in twenty minutes.
Twenty minutes later there was a knock on my door, I jumped of the bed and peeped through the little hole in the door. It was Marie dressed in a large and colorful South African dress.
I opened the door to let her in. She looked and smelled good. I pulled her inside and we started to kiss as the door closed. She was absolutely naked beneath the dress and the thought of her naked body excited me even further.
She was even more beautiful naked, her skin was flawless; the mix of Negro and Caucasian had given her a perfect coffee brown like complexion.
We made love all night.
What I found surprising about the whole sexual episode was that I was able to keep going for much longer than my usual twenty to thirty minutes before cumin. Maybe it was how she would slow us down when she knew I was on the verge or when she would ask me to stop when she was on the verge. We did not want to climax we wanted to keep going and going and going.
Marie knew how to excite and take you to the edge, she was good at making love and she knew it. She would for example contract the muscles of her vagina, forming a kind of clamp around my penis. The sensation this created is hard to describe, only that it was highly erotic. Later while lying in bed, I asked her about it.
“You like it?” she enquired with a mischievous and teasing tone and look.
“Like it, dam girl that move makes the hair on my back stand up” I replied.
“But you don’t have any hair on your back”
“That what I’m talking about”
We both laughed and hugged.
“I found out I could do it my experimenting with myself and overtime and with practice I was able to control the movement at will.” She whispered in my ear.
“What else can you do?” I enquired, desperate to know what else was possible in store for me.
“You’ll just have to wait and see” she said.
We spent the better part of Sunday in my Suite making love, talking and watching TV. We eat the food I had brought not wanting to leave and go out. We did however go out in the evening for dinner. We went to the Japan Inn restaurant, regarded as one of the most elegant and complete Japanese restaurants in Georgetown. After dinner we went back to my suite and made love.
Marie and I had to keep this affair a secret, as we did not want the other delegates to know what we were up to. We both knew that we would have to be extra careful from now on when in their company.
I came down early Monday morning for breakfast and waited for Marie at our usual table. After our love making last night Marie returned to her room, even though I wanted her to stay.
“Can I join you” I looked up and Jennifer Rutledge was standing with her breakfast tray in hand.
“Sure, sure” I lied.
Jennifer was one of the delegates from Puerto Rico. She had moved there about three years ago from the US to take up a new assignment.
“So how are you finding the programme so far? I asked her.
“It’s not too bad, I find that most of the stuff we’re getting is good and I can already see how I’m going to apply it back in Puerto Rico. How are you finding it?”
“It all very new to me, but I’m learning to appreciate the information. For me, hearing of the other delegates experience in different countries and economies is an eye opener”. I said, looking if Marie was in yet.
I looked over at the door and saw Marie walk in the room, heading towards the buffet line. Jennifer was talking to me but I was not paying much attention, I was watching Marie. She picked up her breakfast and headed over to our table.
“Marie, how are you” Jennifer said as Marie came to the table and sat down beside her, directly across the table from me.
“I’m fine thank you” Marie replied with a smile on her face.
“Howard good morning, how are you?” Marie said to me as though we had not seen each other in the last twenty-four hours.
“I’m fine, I had a great night last night” I said looking her straight in the face. She had a faint smile on her lips, knowing the meaning of my response.
“Marie you look great this morning, your face looks so bright and radiant and your eyes are just sparkling. Seems you had a restful night” Jennifer said looking over at Marie.
Marie and I both started to laugh; Jennifer was looking at us with a quizzinly look on her face.
“What, what, what did I say” Jennifer said.
We could not answer, we were laughing so much.
“I had a great night last night” Marie said finally looking away from me.
The three of us talked for a while about the programme and our experience so far. During all the talking Marie and I were playing footsie under table.
“What time is it?” Jennifer said suddenly.
“Oh shit we have to go now, the morning session starts in ten minutes,” I said looking at my watch.
We got up and made our way over to the conference centre.
When we got into the room Marie and I went in separate directions, I wanted to sit beside her, but she told me not to as she would not be able to deal with me being so close to her. So I sat directly across from her in the horseshoe seating arrangement.
For the entire morning session Marie did not look at me once. She made an effort never to look in my direction. Even when I asked a question, while everybody was looking at me, she was looking at something in the papers in front of her. But there was a very brief moment when our eyes met and she began to smile and as quickly as it appeared she wiped it off. During the lunch break I asked her about it.
“You do not know how hard it is to sit across the room from you and not look at you.” Marie confessed. “I know that the moment I look at you, everybody will be able to look at my face and know what is going on, and that’s why I’m trying not to look at you. But you make it so hard; you just keep looking at me.” Marie continued.
“So you can’t even look at me once” I begged.
“If I do, I will not be able to control the expression on my face.” Marie said.
After lunch we returned to the conference room, I diverted to the bathroom because I wanted to come in late to get Marie’s attention. When I came into the room I noticed that Marie had changed her position and was now to my right. I looked over at her and she had a smile on her face. She was taking this serious. I sat down and looked at the new person in front of me. Marie had exchanged place with Benedict Cheong from Singapore. I was going to make this hard for her. I turned to my right and looked directly at her; she looked at me and began to smile.
We both saw Jennifer looking at us with a smile on her face and a look that said “Caught you. I know what you did last night”.
Marie and I did not look directly at each other for the rest of the day.
The conference would be over in another two days. Marie and I never talked about it because we just could not face the fact that we would never see each other again. She would go back to South Africa and me to Jamaica, never to see each other again. When we finally decided to talk about it, we promised each other to meet back in Washington one year from now. We agreed and wrote it down September 11th 2001 and promised each other to be here, in this hotel. Somehow we both knew that we were playing with long odds of us ever meeting again but it kept us going.
We made love every night for the remaining days and on the final night we cried like babies.
Marie and I were scheduled to depart from JFK one hour apart. My flight was leaving for Miami at 11:00 am and hers leaving for New York at 12:30 for a connecting flight to Johannesburg.
On the way to the airport we did not talk much. In the two weeks that we were in Washington we had fallen deeply in love with each other and now were about to depart to far flung corners of the globe maybe never to see each other again. Life was unfair I thought.
“Do you know how much time has been wasted; when I think of all the time I spent fighting my feelings and trying to ignore you. Looking back now I wish I could have then again” Marie said finally.
I just kept silent. It was largely her fault that we had taken so long to connect, but now was not the time to lay blame. We had less than four hours left together; I wanted to make sure I used up every second of it.
I turned to Marie and kissed her, she began to kiss me back and we both started to cry again. We hugged all the way to the airport in silence.
I checked in first and then followed Marie to her check in counter, which was next to mine. Our departure lounges were also next to each other.
“You know the more I think about this whole experience the more I’m convinced that this was all meant to be.” I said to Marie as we sat and waited for our flights.
“What do you mean?” Marie said looking at me.
“Well, think about it, your flight was delayed and so we met at the airport, we took the same taxi to the hotel, I was the only delegate who did not share a room, and we are leaving Washington at the same time from departure lounge next to each other. This all seems like a lot of coincidences, but to me it was all part of the master plan. We were supposed to meet and have this time together. We may never see each other again but we will always have this memory and experience for as long as we live.”
“Hearing you put it together like that it does seem like destiny” Marie said still looking at me.
Marie was looking at me as though she wanted to burn my face and image into her memory so that she would always remember what I looked like.
“Passengers boarding on AA flight 234 departing for Miami, please board at gate 24” the dreaded words came over the speaker system. As we heard it we knew that the moment had arrived. Marie looked up at me.
“I love you” she said and kissed me. I kissed her back and said, “I love you too” We did not know what else to say.
I got up reluctantly and picked up my carry on case, I thought of deliberately missing the flight and taking a later flight, but that was just delaying the inevitable. I had to go back to Jamaican and she had to go back to South Africa.
Marie turned away from me and told me that she did not want to see me go. I felt that now was the time; it was either now or never. I walked over to the line of departing passengers and stood in line. I was still looking at Marie; she was turned away from me. I could not take my eyes from her.
I was about one person from the boarding gate when Marie got up and ran towards me. I ran out of the line towards her leaving my bag on the ground.
We hugged, embraced, kissed, cried, laughed, but we mostly cried.
“See you September 11th 2001,” I said, “Make sure you’re here.”
“I‘ll be here,” she said with a smile on her face.
I turned and boarded the plane, I could not look back.
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